OXFORD, MS – Ole Miss officials announced Thursday they have hired Morgan Freeman to narrate the university’s final stage of grief over Lane Kiffin leaving for LSU. Freeman agreed to the job since he’ll already be in Oxford for ESPN’s College GameDay.
The move comes after months of denial, anger, bargaining and several strongly worded statements from people who insist they are completely over it.
Freeman will reportedly provide a calming voice as Rebel fans finally enter acceptance.
“And so, after many difficult months, the people of Oxford slowly began to understand that Lane was not coming back,” Freeman reportedly reads in the opening narration. “Not even after all those lawsuits.”
Ole Miss officials believe Freeman’s soothing delivery could finally accomplish what therapy, litigation and repeatedly calling Brian Kelly a better coach could not.
The narration will play throughout Oxford ahead of LSU’s visit, including inside Vaught-Hemingway Stadium and several bars where patrons still refuse to delete Kiffin’s number.
University officials stressed the program has completely moved on.
Freeman has reportedly been instructed to keep reading until everyone believes them.
