BATON ROUGE, LA – LSU football has clarified Ed Orgeron’s role following his return to Baton Rouge, officially naming the former national championship coach Special Assistant to Everything That Requires Yelling.
The highly specialized position will reportedly place Orgeron wherever LSU determines normal speaking volume has failed to produce adequate results.
“Recruiting, defense, motivation, getting somebody across the hall to answer their phone, Coach O can help,” an LSU official explained. “There are certain situations where an email or text simply won’t do.”
Sources say Orgeron has already been deployed to several recruiting meetings, two defensive practices and a facilities discussion involving an improperly parked golf cart.
Head coach Lane Kiffin said Orgeron’s unique skill set fills an important gap on the staff, particularly when instructions need to be delivered at a volume detectable from across campus.
LSU officials stressed Orgeron will not be limited to football operations.
“If somebody over at the Alumni Office needs hollering at,” the official added, “we know a guy.”
