BATON ROUGE, La. – In a scene witnesses described as “both dramatic and deeply unnecessary,” Central Mayor Wade Evans stormed Baton Rouge City Hall Wednesday clutching a binder of printed Facebook screenshots, demanding recognition for being The Sadvocate’s “original superfan.”
“I was sharing their headlines when y’all were still out campaigning!” Evans declared, slapping down a photo of himself wearing a bootleg Sadvocate shirt he made at home “before it was mainstream.”
He also flashed one of the coveted pink Sadvocate tumblers from this year’s Spanish Town parade. “You think Sid has one of these? I knocked over a 10 year old kid and a Baton Rouge cop for mine.”
A member of the staff nodded politely, handed him a lukewarm Diet Pepsi, and promised to “look into it,” which is government code for doing absolutely nothing.
The Central mayor concluded his visit by demanding that Baton Rouge “pick another official news source—any other one,” claiming Edwards only picked The Sadvocate because “that new girl on his staff who everyone honks at told him it would make him look cool with boomers.”
Evans was last seen sitting in a lawn chair at the 12-year-old Hooper–Sullivan construction site, projecting old Sadvocate posts onto a white sheet and shouting, “Baton Rouge can have this when they pry it from my cold, dead hands!”
