Tiger Fans Begin Annual Tradition of Convincing Themselves This Is The Most Talented Team Ever Assembled
The yearly ritual reportedly began minutes after the first practice photos were released, with fans immediately pointing to the size of the offensive line and speed of incoming freshmen.
Baton Rouge Marriage Counselors Prepare For LSU Football Season By Hiring Additional Staff
Baton Rouge marriage counselors say football season is their busiest time of year, and LSU hasn’t even played a game yet.
LSU Introduces Dynamic Ticket Pricing That Increases After Every Touchdown
LSU says it learned valuable lessons from last year’s ticket price controversy. This year, prices won’t go up until the Tigers actually start scoring touchdowns.
Senate Introduces “Lane Kiffin Rule” Requiring Coaches To Wait Until Fans Finish Crying Before Resigning
Lawmakers unveiled the proposed “Lane Kiffin Rule” this week, giving devastated college football fans a federally protected mourning period before coaches can bolt for another job.
Therapists Warn Lane Kiffin Visit Could Reset Ole Miss Recovery Process Back to Anger Phase
Counselors across Oxford are preparing for a difficult week as Lane Kiffin’s return reportedly threatens months of emotional recovery progress.
LSU Confirms Toosii Will Play Both Offense and Halftime Show to Maximize NIL Value
LSU confirmed Toosii will play both offense and halftime, listing him as “WR/Artist” in a move officials say maximizes NIL efficiency and gives fans something to enjoy even if the offense stalls.
LSU to Post Ten Commandments In Classrooms, Seeks Football Season Exemption From Taking The Lord’s Name In Vain
As LSU prepares to post the Ten Commandments in classrooms under the new state mandate, officials quietly requested a football-season exemption from “Thou Shalt Not Take The Lord’s Name In Vain.”
Ole Miss Football Changes Facebook Relationship Status to “It’s Complicated” After Hiring LSU Interim Coach
Ole Miss insists hiring LSU’s interim coach was purely professional, a claim immediately undermined by its decision to label the entire situation “It’s Complicated” and refuse further questions.
Brian Kelly Offers to Coach ‘One Last Game’ After Reading About the Texas Bowl’s Cougar Hospitality Suite
Brian Kelly has decided he’s not quite done at LSU, and it definitely has nothing to do with the Texas Bowl’s Cougar Hospitality Suite.
Lane Kiffin Says He Chose LSU For Tradition, Passion, And “The Unmatched Quality Of Baton Rouge Gas Station Food”
Lane Kiffin’s first LSU press appearance took an unexpected turn when he praised Baton Rouge’s gas-station cuisine as a deciding factor in his move. Fans shrugged, noting that understanding hot-bar culture is practically a requirement for the job.
Todd Graves and Gordon McKernan Race to File for Sole Custody of Lane Kiffin in Baton Rouge City Court
Lane Kiffin hasn’t even landed in Louisiana, but that didn’t stop two of Baton Rouge’s biggest personalities from sprinting to City Court to claim exclusive custody rights before the ink on his contract even dries.
Governor Landry Orders Louisiana National Guard to Seize LSU’s Offensive Playbook and Have it Immediately Destroyed
Governor Jeff Landry has ordered the National Guard to raid LSU’s football facility and seize Joe Sloan’s offensive playbook. The governor called it a danger to public morale, vowing the pages will be destroyed before fans suffer through another predictable Saturday
Ole Miss Declares Themselves 2007 BCS Champions After Watching the Game on TV
Ole Miss has once again crowned itself a champion, this time of the 2007 BCS National Title, which they claim they earned from watching LSU win on TV. It’s not their first revision, back in 2003, they lost to LSU but still hung a “SEC West Champs” sign.
Orgeron Plans to Send Ex-Wife to Several SEC Universities to Negotiate Coaching Return
Former LSU coach Ed Orgeron has turned his job search into a joint venture with his ex-wife, who recently won $8 million from his buyout. She’s now negotiating directly with Mississippi State, demanding signing bonuses and custody of season tickets.
After $955K Deficit, LSU’s Athletic Director Named Finalist for Louisiana State Government Finance Award
From spending SEC money like it’s Monopoly cash to being honored for it by the state, LSU’s athletic department just reminded everyone why Louisiana’s unofficial motto is “It’s not broken, it’s tradition.”