NOLA Mayor’s Travel Ban Ruled Unconstitutional Under the “Treat Yo’ Self” Clause
A New Orleans judge ruled Mayor Cantrell’s travel privileges are constitutionally protected under what some are calling the “Treat Yo’ Self” clause. Council members are furious, and the mayor is reportedly booking a “healing retreat” already.
Mayor Cantrell Sues for Right to Govern New Orleans from Anywhere But New Orleans
Mayor LaToya Cantrell isn’t letting a little thing like governing New Orleans stop her from living her best life. Now, she’s suing the City Council, arguing that restricting her taxpayer-funded vacations is an unjust attack on her leadership.
DOGE’s Audit of New Orleans Halted After Team Gets Carjacked by 14-Year-Olds
DOGE’s attempt to audit New Orleans ended abruptly when their government vehicle was stolen. Mayor Cantrell shrugged it off, calling it “just kids bein’ kids.”
Mayor Cantrell Confuses Fifth Amendment With a Fifth of Hennessy at Hearing
Mayor Cantrell shocked legal experts when she pleaded the Fifth during an NOPD hearing—only to later clarify she was actually talking about the fifth of Hennessy she drank beforehand.
New Orleans Residents Flee in Droves—City Officials Blame ‘Unrealistic’ Expectations for Basic Services
New Orleans leaders insist the real issue isn’t the mass exodus—it’s that residents just don’t appreciate the authentic experience of dodging carjackers and overpaying for broken infrastructure.
Mayor Cantrell Declares D.C. a Suburb of New Orleans to Circumvent Travel Ban
Facing a travel ban, Mayor Cantrell found a loophole—simply redefining Washington, D.C. as part of New Orleans. Meanwhile, locals worry DA Jason Williams might start dropping charges for Congress members.
City’s Travel Ban Leaves Cantrell ‘Stranded Among the Masses’—Mayor Files Suit to Escape
New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell has filed a lawsuit against the city, claiming the recent travel ban forces her to endure Mardi Gras like a regular citizen—complete with bad weather and bead-throwing chaos.