Lane Kiffin Files Emergency Injunction Seeking Return Of Joe Burrow For 2026 Season
LSU attorneys believe Joe Burrow could be back on campus just as soon as they find the right judge.
LSU Tailgate Music Crackdown Forces Local Police To Complete Mandatory Boosie Certification
LSU’s new tailgate music rules have local police brushing up on one of Baton Rouge’s most important languages: Boosie.
LSU Adds Certified Court Order To List Of Required Practice Equipment
After multiple court rulings affected players connected to LSU, the Tigers are reportedly making legal paperwork mandatory practice gear.
LSU Names Coach O Special Assistant To Everything That Requires Yelling
LSU finally found the one job on campus where Coach O is unquestionably overqualified.
LSU Requires New Equipment Manager to Hold Law Degree and Carry Malpractice Insurance
Folding towels remains important at LSU, but university officials confirmed that contract law is now the equipment room’s top priority.
LSU Offers Jayden Daniels’ Mom Defensive Job After Watching Her Take Down a Heisman Quarterback
LSU watched Jayden Daniels’ mom take down a Heisman quarterback and immediately saw coaching potential.
Brian Kelly Sends LSU Cease-And-Desist Letter To Protect Legacy Of Blaming Team After Every Loss
Brian Kelly apparently wants LSU to respect the traditions he left behind. One of them may sound very familiar after a loss.
Poll Finds 93% Of LSU Fans Already Know Which Games The Refs Will Cost Them
College football season hasn’t started yet, but LSU fans have already circled every game the refs are allegedly going to steal.
SEC Announces LSU-Ole Miss Game Will Now Be Officiated By Three Referees And Two Federal Judges
After Ole Miss sued two former players who transferred to LSU following Lane Kiffin’s move to Baton Rouge, conference officials reportedly decided a normal officiating crew simply wouldn’t be enough.
TigerDroppings Poster Declares Football Season Over, Back On, Then Over Again Before Lunch
TigerDroppings reportedly declared LSU’s season over, back on, then over again before most Baton Rouge residents finished their first cup of coffee.
Tennessee Emergency Management Urges Football Fans Not To Panic Buy Mustard And Golf Balls Ahead Of LSU Game
Officials assured residents there is plenty of mustard and plenty of golf balls for everyone, provided fans remember what they were originally designed to do.
Ole Miss Demands LSU Return Complimentary Hotel Shampoo From Recruiting Visits
Ole Miss is reportedly expanding its effort to recover transfer buyout money by demanding LSU return every complimentary hotel shampoo bottle recruits ever took home.
Bride Shocked To Learn LSU Scheduled Football Game On Her Wedding Day
Wedding season and football season have officially collided in Louisiana. One local bride says she booked her venue eighteen months ago and assumed LSU would take that into consideration before releasing kickoff times.
Following Toosii’s Departure, LSU Monitoring Transfer Portal For Artists With 5 Million Spotify Listeners
LSU officials say they’re looking for an immediate-impact replacement with chart success, strong social media engagement, and a willingness to occasionally attend football practice.
Tiger Fans Begin Annual Tradition of Convincing Themselves This Is The Most Talented Team Ever Assembled
The yearly ritual reportedly began minutes after the first practice photos were released, with fans immediately pointing to the size of the offensive line and speed of incoming freshmen.
LSU Creates Official STTDB Etiquette Guide For Weddings And Corporate Events
LSU officials say years of confusion have finally forced the university to publish formal guidelines explaining exactly when fans should, and should not, yell STTDB in public.
Coach O Reportedly Evaluates Linebackers By Seeing If They Can Finish An Entire Muffuletta At Anthony’s Italian Deli
LSU recruiting insiders say Coach O has developed a new way to evaluate linebackers, and it involves a trip to Anthony’s Italian Deli.
Baton Rouge Marriage Counselors Prepare For LSU Football Season By Hiring Additional Staff
Baton Rouge marriage counselors say football season is their busiest time of year, and LSU hasn’t even played a game yet.
LSU Introduces Dynamic Ticket Pricing That Increases After Every Touchdown
LSU says it learned valuable lessons from last year’s ticket price controversy. This year, prices won’t go up until the Tigers actually start scoring touchdowns.
Coach O Accidentally Signs Two Offensive Linemen While Ordering Boudin At Local Gas Station
Sources say Coach O’s recruiting success rate at Louisiana gas stations now exceeds several major recruiting websites combined.
Senate Introduces “Lane Kiffin Rule” Requiring Coaches To Wait Until Fans Finish Crying Before Resigning
Lawmakers unveiled the proposed “Lane Kiffin Rule” this week, giving devastated college football fans a federally protected mourning period before coaches can bolt for another job.
LSU to Post Ten Commandments In Classrooms, Seeks Football Season Exemption From Taking The Lord’s Name In Vain
As LSU prepares to post the Ten Commandments in classrooms under the new state mandate, officials quietly requested a football-season exemption from “Thou Shalt Not Take The Lord’s Name In Vain.”
Tiger Stadium Connectivity Upgrade Will Allow 100,000 Fans To Post “How Much Is The Buyout?” Simultaneously
Engineers confirmed the $45 million connectivity upgrade was specifically engineered to handle simultaneous uploads of blurry targeting replays, emotional coaching buyouts, and urgent chants of “Play Neck” in high definition.
LSU Officials Admit NBA YoungBoy Concert May Be First Event Where People Stay Through the End
LSU officials admit an NBA YoungBoy concert may finally test whether Tiger Stadium can hold a crowd until the end, something football, graduations, and weather delays have failed to accomplish.
Brian Kelly Offers to Coach ‘One Last Game’ After Reading About the Texas Bowl’s Cougar Hospitality Suite
Brian Kelly has decided he’s not quite done at LSU, and it definitely has nothing to do with the Texas Bowl’s Cougar Hospitality Suite.
Todd Graves and Gordon McKernan Race to File for Sole Custody of Lane Kiffin in Baton Rouge City Court
Lane Kiffin hasn’t even landed in Louisiana, but that didn’t stop two of Baton Rouge’s biggest personalities from sprinting to City Court to claim exclusive custody rights before the ink on his contract even dries.
LSU Realizes Refusing to Pay Contract Buyout While Actively Searching for a New Coach May Have Sent Wrong Message
LSU officials admitted that refusing to pay Brian Kelly’s buyout was sending the wrong message while they were actively trying to hire someone new.
Lane Kiffin Considers Committing to LSU Before Thanksgiving To Avoid Having to Tell Anyone He Coached In The Egg Bowl
Lane Kiffin is rumored to be eyeing LSU, and insiders say it has less to do with football and more to do with avoiding the public shame of coaching in something called the Egg Bowl.
LSU Board Grants President Rousse Power to Fire Any Coach Who Tries to Speak With a Fake Louisiana Accent
LSU’s new rule lets the president fire any coach who tries out a fake Louisiana accent, a policy clearly inspired by one very memorable “faaaam-uh-leeeee” moment.
Kelly Takes Credit for LSU’s Win Over Arkansas Saturday, Insists He Still Isn’t Fired “As Far as He Knows.”
Brian Kelly took to Facebook after LSU’s win, posting a selfie and insisting he’s still the Tigers’ head coach because no one has officially fired him “to his face.”