City of Gonzales Rejects Hispanic Gala, Demands Everyone Pretend the Original Name Was From An Italian Named Antonio Gonzales
The Gonzales City Council rejected funding for the Hispanic Heritage Gala, insisting the town’s name has nothing to do with Hispanic culture. Officials claimed it came from “Tony Gonzalez, a hardworking Italian plumber,” leaving locals baffled at the city’s new heritage-free approach to history.
Gonzales Mayor : City Employees Must Have Permission Slip With Parent’s Signature to Speak at Council Meetings
Gonzales City Hall has gone full classroom, with Mayor Arceneaux requiring permission slips from employees before they speak to council. Complete with parental signatures, the policy threatens detentions and awkward phone calls home for rulebreakers, making civic duty feel more like homeroom.
NOLA Council Approves Road Repair Plan After Accidentally Clicking ‘Accept All’ on Budget Proposal
The New Orleans City Council accidentally approved a $2 billion, multi-decade road plan after clicking “Accept All” on a shared budget doc. The plan includes street repairs, new task forces, and a consultant called The Asphalt Whisperer. Officials say it’s “probably fine.”
New Orleans Mayor Warns Council: ‘If I Can’t Travel I’ll be Here Running the City’
The City Council thought reining in travel expenses would fix things. Instead, they might have accidentally triggered something far worse: LaToya Cantrell working a full week in New Orleans.
City Council’s New Motto: ‘Til Debt Do Us Part’—Alimony Tax to Mend Municipal Finances
Baton Rouge officials have a bold new plan to fix the budget—taxing the already emotionally bankrupt. The alimony tax is back, and this time, it’s not just personal. It’s painfully civic.
NOLA Mayor’s Travel Ban Ruled Unconstitutional Under the “Treat Yo’ Self” Clause
A New Orleans judge ruled Mayor Cantrell’s travel privileges are constitutionally protected under what some are calling the “Treat Yo’ Self” clause. Council members are furious, and the mayor is reportedly booking a “healing retreat” already.
Mayor Cantrell Sues for Right to Govern New Orleans from Anywhere But New Orleans
Mayor LaToya Cantrell isn’t letting a little thing like governing New Orleans stop her from living her best life. Now, she’s suing the City Council, arguing that restricting her taxpayer-funded vacations is an unjust attack on her leadership.
New Orleans Officials Warn ‘No Alcohol Reimbursements’ Could Cripple City’s Bribe Negotiations
The New Orleans City Council may finally cut off taxpayer-funded booze tabs, a move some say will cripple deal-making. “We might actually have to govern sober,” one official muttered.
City’s Travel Ban Leaves Cantrell ‘Stranded Among the Masses’—Mayor Files Suit to Escape
New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell has filed a lawsuit against the city, claiming the recent travel ban forces her to endure Mardi Gras like a regular citizen—complete with bad weather and bead-throwing chaos.