VERMILLION PARISH, LA – Louisiana critics who have spent years demanding state leaders attract major companies and historic economic investment expressed outrage this week after Louisiana attracted a major company and historic economic investment.
The sudden reversal followed reports of SpaceX’s massive proposed investment in Louisiana, which forced longtime critics to quickly transition from explaining why nobody wants to do business here to explaining why nobody should want to do business here.
“For years I’ve said our leaders are incompetent because companies keep choosing Texas,” said one critic. “But bringing one here creates an entirely different problem that I’ll explain as soon as I figure out what it is.”
Others immediately began researching environmental impacts, tax incentives and rocket launches after previously insisting Louisiana desperately needed new industries and high-paying jobs.
Officials acknowledged the confusion but assured residents there would eventually be another Louisiana economic failure everyone could comfortably agree was terrible.
Until then, critics have asked the public to remain furious.
