ABBEVILLE, LA – SpaceX has unveiled plans for its new Louisiana operations center, a sprawling high-tech complex designed to advance commercial spaceflight while remaining fully prepared for shrimp season.
The swamp-based facility will feature a state-of-the-art rocket laboratory, engineering offices, launch support buildings and a large screened-in porch overlooking the bayou. Officials say the porch will provide employees a comfortable place to review launch data, drink Community Coffee and discuss whether the mosquitoes seem worse this year.
SpaceX will also maintain a small fleet of shrimp boats, several airboats and one aluminum bateau primarily used when somebody needs to “run back to the launch pad real quick.”
Engineers originally proposed an advanced employee cafeteria before Louisiana contractors convinced them to install an outdoor kitchen, commercial crawfish boiler and fish-cleaning station instead.
The complex will sit on an elevated foundation surrounded by cypress trees and enough crushed limestone to temporarily convince visitors they are driving on an actual road.
SpaceX officials say Louisiana was selected because its challenging environment provides excellent preparation for Mars, although Mars currently has fewer mosquitoes, hurricanes and nutria.
