BATON ROUGE, LA – In what officials are calling “the most efficient use of a scholarship since the forward pass,” LSU Tigers football confirmed Friday that Toosii will serve as both an offensive player and the team’s halftime entertainment.
Head coach Lane Kiffin said the decision came after realizing NIL deals now account for “roughly 60 percent of play-calling anyway.”
“We’re just cutting out the middleman,” Kiffin explained. “Instead of signing a receiver and booking a performer, we found a guy who can run a slant and drop an Ole Miss diss track.”
Team sources say Toosii will be listed on the depth chart as “WR/Artist,” with responsibilities including third-down routes, pregame hype, and releasing new music during extended TV timeouts.
LSU administrators confirmed the move could save the athletic department millions, especially if the offense stalls.
“If we’re not scoring, at least something will chart,” one official said.
Fans have already embraced the move, noting it may be the first time LSU’s halftime show has better execution than the entire second half.
