BATON ROUGE, LA – Louisiana Attorney General Liz Murrill continued her push this week for the safe return of a missing historic artifact, but former House Speaker Clay Schexnayder dismissed the fuss, insisting the item is being wildly overvalued.
“If it was really priceless, explain why the pawn shop in Gonzales wouldn’t go more than a hundred bucks,” Schexnayder said, waving a folded pawn ticket like it was a notarized appraisal. “I’ve seen bass trophies and Dale Earnhardt memorabilia pull more cash than that.”
Historians describe the artifact as a vital piece of Louisiana’s cultural heritage, but Schexnayder was unmoved. “Look, I’m not saying it isn’t neat,” he added. “But the pawn shop had it sitting next to a box of old Xbox controllers and a weed eater that wouldn’t start. That tells you everything you need to know.”
Murrill’s office called the comments “deeply irresponsible,” while Schexnayder hinted he might be willing to part with the item if the state reimburses him for the full hundred. “I’m a reasonable man,” he said. “Throw in a tank of gas and a ride in Landry’s private jet to Bally’s in Shreveport, and it’s yours.”
