BATON ROUGE, LA – Governor Jeff Landry took a strong moral stand this week against what he called LSU’s “degenerate” twerk performance at the Pete Maravich Assembly Center, though sources say his outrage may have less to do with values and more to do with browser history.
According to staffers, Landry first stumbled across the routine on a late-night scroll and proceeded to “accidentally” stream it no fewer than 47 times. When aides questioned the replay count, the Governor reportedly insisted each viewing was necessary to “fully grasp the depravity.”
In a press conference, Landry thundered that the performance “threatened the moral fiber of Louisiana.” However, witnesses couldn’t help but notice the Governor awkwardly avoiding eye contact with the playback screen running behind him.
Critics suggested Landry’s crusade was less about student decency and more about damage control. “He’s just mad he got caught watching it on loop,” one LSU sophomore said. “We all saw him hit rewind.”
Despite his condemnation, the Governor’s office later confirmed the video mysteriously remains bookmarked under a folder titled “Evidence Collection.”
