NEW ORLEANS, LA – Legal experts in New Orleans say the case against Officer Jeffrey Vappie, the former bodyguard and travel companion of Mayor LaToya Cantrell, has taken a strange turn. Vappie, facing felony charges tied to taxpayer-funded luxury getaways, may now pursue an insanity defense.
“Honestly, it’s the only argument that makes sense,” one attorney close to the case admitted. “The trips were expensive, the fallout was predictable, and the relationship wasn’t exactly something you’d brag about. No rational man would jeopardize his pension to bang Teedy.”
Court filings suggest the defense strategy will hinge on proving diminished capacity, arguing that Vappie’s judgment was so impaired he slept with Cantrell numerous times, several of which reportedly occurred with the lights on.
Prosecutors remain unconvinced. “We don’t typically accept ‘bad taste in women’ as a legal excuse,” one official noted. “If we did, half of New Orleans would be in therapy instead of court.”
As trial looms, residents of New Orleans remain divided: some want accountability, while others simply pity a man whose poor romantic judgment now comes with a potential prison sentence.
