NEW ORLEANS, LA – After years of flying first class to Paris, Rome, and Dubai for taxpayer-funded “leadership conferences,” New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell is discovering the limits of life under federal indictment. With her passport effectively useless, Cantrell announced she will instead headline Westwego’s “Global Forum on Boudin Ball Innovation,” a one-day symposium held in the back room of a seafood market.
Accustomed to five-star hotels, Cantrell will now be staying at the Westwego Motor Lodge, where the ice machine doubles as air conditioning and the complimentary breakfast is a day-old donut with a cold cup of Community Coffee.
“This is about staying engaged on the world stage, even if the world is currently Jefferson Parish,” Cantrell explained, insisting that innovations in deep-frying technology and breadcrumb diversity were both essential to the success of New Orleans.
Despite the downgrade, Cantrell promised taxpayers the same level of leadership: “lavish speeches, minimal results, and a bill you’ll never stop paying for.”
