BATON ROUGE, LA – LSU’s visiting locker room has been named Defensive Player of the Week following a dominant performance against Clemson during Saturday night’s extended weather delay.
The aging facility reportedly kept Clemson uncomfortable for nearly 90 consecutive minutes, providing relentless fluorescent lighting, questionable ventilation and nowhere particularly enjoyable to sit while storms passed through Baton Rouge.
“It did its job,” LSU head coach Lane Kiffin said. “Clemson went in there, stayed a while, and came out worse.”
Following the 51-10 victory, LSU officials reportedly approached the locker room about several proposed renovations, including improved seating, upgraded showers and better climate control.
The room immediately declined.
“You don’t start changing things after a performance like that,” an LSU facilities official explained. “Clearly something is working.”
LSU has since suspended all improvements to the facility and instructed maintenance crews to report any repairs that could potentially make visiting teams more comfortable.
Officials are now reviewing several existing plumbing issues for possible inclusion on next week’s defensive depth chart.
