BATON ROUGE, LA – In a city where football is treated as a civic duty, thousands of South Baton Rouge residents agreed Monday night that the most dominant performance of Super Bowl Sunday came not from the field, but from the driver who slammed into a power pole on Highland Road and knocked out electricity across the area for several hours.
With televisions dark and routers blinking helplessly, entire neighborhoods were forced to experience the Super Bowl exclusively through delayed group texts, conflicting Facebook opinions, and one uncle who insisted the refs were cheating despite not seeing a single play.
“I don’t know who won, but I know who controlled the game,” said one resident, gesturing toward the powerless living room. “That car dictated the pace from kickoff to well after halftime.”
Residents reported missing both the second half and the much-discussed halftime show, though many later expressed strong opinions about it anyway after scrolling social media for five minutes.
Entergy officials apologized for the outage, noting that while the timing was unfortunate, it did prevent several domestic arguments and spared many viewers from pretending to understand football strategy.
Officials say the driver has not been formally recognized by the NFL, though Baton Rouge residents insist the performance spoke for itself.
