NEW ORLEANS, LA – The monkeys that escaped from Tulane’s National Primate Research Center last week have reportedly filed a federal lawsuit accusing several Louisiana media outlets of violating their HIPAA rights by publicly revealing their alleged infection statuses. Listed among the defendants are WWL-TV, WAFB, WBRZ, and Fox News.
According to the suit, the monkeys claim their “most intimate medical details” including test results for herpes, hepatitis, and COVID were “recklessly broadcast to the public,” causing “severe emotional distress, stigma, and loss of endorsement opportunities.”
Attorneys representing the primates argue that while HIPAA technically applies to humans, “our clients identify as test subjects and deserve equal medical privacy under federal law.” Tulane declined to comment, citing ongoing litigation and “an overwhelming sense of disbelief.”
A spokesperson for one of the named media outlets said they plan to “vigorously defend” the reporting, insisting that “when test monkeys escape captivity the public has a right to know what they’re carrying.”
Tulane’s attorneys are reportedly exploring a countersuit, accusing the monkeys of defamation for “insinuating they were ever part of a well-funded program.”
Sources say the monkeys’ legal team is already in settlement talks, though negotiations hit a snag when one of the plaintiffs bit the stenographer during mediation.
