BATON ROUGE, LA – After Senator Bill Cassidy abruptly backed out of his scheduled interview with Moon Griffon, citing “technical difficulties with his backbone”, opponent Blake Miguez wasted no time sliding into the open chair. Griffon, visibly relieved to have an actual guest, announced that Miguez had performed the unthinkable for a Louisiana politician: he showed up and answered questions.
Listeners were stunned. “I didn’t even know candidates were allowed to talk for longer than ten minutes,” one caller said. Miguez, who somehow managed to make it through an entire segment without spontaneously rebooting, contrasted sharply with Cassidy’s offer of a brief cameo squeezed between commercial breaks.
Political analysts called the move an “innovative strategy,” noting that simply answering questions may now count as a campaign innovation in Louisiana. Griffon himself praised Miguez for lasting longer on air than Cassidy has lasted explaining his Senate votes.
Meanwhile, Cassidy’s staff reassured voters his backbone is still “under maintenance” and would be “available for inspection sometime after Election Day.”
