BATON ROUGE, La. – Facing severe budget shortfalls, the Baton Rouge Police Department has accepted a $25 million bailout from the East Baton Rouge Library system—under one condition: every police unit must be rebranded with the library’s logo and carry at least 200 books for public checkout.

Under the new agreement, officers must keep crime-related books in their patrol cars, ensuring detainees have access to titles like Catch Me If You Can and Crime and Punishment. Officers will also be required to issue book recommendations based on the nature of the arrest.

“With patrol cars now at full literary capacity, we may have to start transporting suspects by foot,” chuckled one BRPD officer. “But at least they’ll have plenty of reading material for the walk.”

Officials at the 19th Judicial District Court praised the program, stating, “We’re relieved to see BRPD’s backseats full of books instead of arrestees. Fewer criminals in the system means fewer we have to release without bond—it’s a win for everyone.”