BATON ROUGE, La. – Louisiana Senator Bill Cassidy shocked political analysts this week after posting an image claiming he holds a 69% approval rating in the state. However, investigative journalists quickly uncovered the source of the poll: a family group chat titled “Cassidy Clan.”
The poll, conducted by Cassidy himself, reportedly received enthusiastic support from his wife, two cousins, and an aunt who “doesn’t really follow politics but likes his Christmas cards.” However, his nephew quickly disputed the findings, responding, “Bro, be serious.”
Critics questioned Cassidy’s math, considering his real approval rating among Louisiana Republicans has cratered since his impeachment vote. Still, Cassidy remains confident, stating, “The numbers don’t lie—except when they do.”
When pressed on the misleading poll, Cassidy’s office assured reporters that the senator remains “very popular among the select group of people he personally texted.”
