Parish Attorney Asks Judge If 1st Amendment Has an “Except This Article” Clause
Parish attorneys clarified that freedom of the press remains important, just not when it creates discomfort, influences public opinion, or interferes with the government’s preferred version of events.
Recall Effort Launched Against Mayor for Not Attracting Federal Investigation Like Previous Administration
A recall effort is underway after residents noticed something deeply wrong at City Hall, no investigations, no probes, and no federal interest, a sharp break from recent Baton Rouge tradition.
Louisiana Introduces 48-Hour Courtesy Warrant Window for Elected Officials With Travel Plans
State officials described the delay as a scheduling accommodation, explaining that warrants are serious matters but should not disrupt travel, networking, or previously booked government-adjacent social obligations.
Louisiana Legislature Unveils Budget Based on Innovative New Math Where Everything Is Affordable Eventually
Budget analysts confirmed the proposal works best when reviewed quickly, without context, and with the understanding that future lawmakers will be responsible for explaining whatever goes wrong.
Landry Floats Idea That If Your Car Survived Louisiana Roads, Inspection Stickers Are Likely Unnecessary
Louisiana may rethink inspection stickers after officials acknowledge the roads themselves already test suspensions, alignment, and faith in humanity on a daily basis.
CATS Confirms Only Employee Without Indictment Was a Bus Driver, Names Him CEO
After a wave of indictments emptied CATS’ executive offices, officials confirmed the agency’s only unindicted employee, a longtime bus driver, has been promoted to CEO.
NOPD Chief on Officer Detainment by ICE: “Worst Thing I’ve Seen Since Prohibition Era”
NOPD says the ICE detention of a newly hired officer shocked leadership, who noted it was the most troubling development they’ve encountered since Prohibition ended and background checks got complicated.
CATS Spokesman Confirms Indictment Count Has Officially Surpassed Ridership
CATS confirmed the number of former officials under indictment has officially surpassed daily ridership, a milestone officials described as inevitable given years of empty buses and active investigations.
Landry Spends Two Days Training in North Louisiana Snow to Prepare for Greenland Envoy Role
Officials said the governor’s North Louisiana trip provided all the necessary exposure to ice, snow, and public frustration required to represent Louisiana interests abroad.
Baton Rouge Leaders Finalize Arrangement with Tony Chachere’s for Resale of Unused Road Salt After Storm Passes
Baton Rouge prepared for ice, but officials also prepared for disappointment. If the storm fizzles, city leaders already have a plan to turn excess salt into budget relief.
LSU Officials Admit NBA YoungBoy Concert May Be First Event Where People Stay Through the End
LSU officials admit an NBA YoungBoy concert may finally test whether Tiger Stadium can hold a crowd until the end, something football, graduations, and weather delays have failed to accomplish.
Landry Expands Constitutional Carry to Include Harpoons Ahead of Greenland Transition
The expansion clarifies that Louisiana residents may openly carry harpoons so long as they are visible.
Plaquemine City Council Candidate Discovers Out-of-State Family Votes Are Cheaper Than Yard Signs
A Plaquemine election is under investigation after officials say a candidate may have discovered it’s cheaper to fly in relatives than blanket the city with yard signs.
CATS Officials Assure Public That New Indictments Were Already Accounted For in Original Budget
Officials said the indictments would not disrupt operations, explaining that arrests, audits, and criminal investigations were already factored into long-term planning and routine dysfunction.
Guaranty Media Celebrates 100 Years by Sharing Its First-Ever News Story: New Mississippi River Bridge Planned
To mark 100 years in Baton Rouge, Guaranty Media looked back at its very first news story, a timeless classic announcing a new Mississippi River bridge that is still, somehow, being planned.
Metro Council Moves to Protect Florida Blvd’s “Natural Trash Distribution System”
Officials warned that a waste facility could interfere with Florida Boulevard’s long-established system of spontaneous debris placement, seasonal flooding, and decades of carefully unplanned garbage redistribution.
Walker High Students Form Group to Oppose Hair Dye Ban, Insist They Are Not a Public Safety Concern
Students at Walker High formed DYE HARD after administrators treated dyed hair as a safety concern, reviving memories of earlier efforts to regulate off-campus dancing and other non-classroom behavior.
Julia Letlow Enters Louisiana Senate Race After Clearing Party’s Only Hurdle: Not Being Bill Cassidy
Louisiana Republicans finally found common ground, and it wasn’t policy. Julia Letlow entered the Senate race after meeting the party’s only requirement: not being Bill Cassidy.
Louisiana AG Liz Murrill Proposes ID Requirements for People Waiting in King Cake Lines
Louisiana Attorney General Liz Murrill proposed voter ID requirements for king cake lines, arguing the state must protect limited inventory from out-of-state buyers and residents who “just discovered Mardi Gras.”
New BRPD Drone Dispatched to North Baton Rouge, Immediately Asked To Borrow A Dollar
Officials say the drone was unharmed but has since been reprogrammed to maintain higher altitude and never carry a pack of cigarettes.
Zachary Launches New Code Enforcement System After Discovering Residents Have Been Ignoring Old One for Years
City officials say the upgraded system replaces handwritten complaints and months of inaction with a faster process designed to finally confirm that residents were never confused about the rules, just completely uninterested in following them.
LaToya Cantrell Says City Password List Was Left in Dubai, Requests One Final City-Funded Trip to Retrieve It
Former New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell says the city’s password list is in Dubai and requests one last city-funded trip to retrieve it.
Recent CATS Indictment Suggests Bus System Actually Had Money at Some Point, Shocking Local Residents
The indictment stunned Baton Rouge residents, many of whom admitted they were unaware the Capital Area Transit System had money available to steal.
Rock the Country Tour to Skip Louisiana Following Reports Jeff Landry Wants Live Texas Steer at Shows
Festival organizers confirmed Louisiana was removed from the tour after reports surfaced that state officials wanted a live Texas steer roaming concert crowds to “restore authenticity.”
BR Residents Invited to Delta Utilities Town Hall, Told Company Rep Will Be Joining by Zoom From Yacht in Caribbean
Officials confirmed the meeting would proceed normally, noting that offshore connectivity issues are considered standard practice in modern customer service and public accountability.
New Orleans Mayor Appoints Kamala Harris as Sewerage & Water Board Czar to Find Root Causes of Drainage Issues
New Orleans officials say Kamala Harris was chosen to identify drainage root causes, citing her ability to speak at length without offering timelines, solutions, or any measurable outcomes.
DOTD Confirms New Pecue Lane Design at Interstate Is Working Exactly As Designed, Just Not As Expected
DOTD insists the Pecue interchange is performing flawlessly, provided drivers abandon instinct, common sense, and any expectations formed by decades of Baton Rouge commuting.
Waze Adds “Shootings Along Your Route” Notices for Baton Rouge Commuters After Violent Weekend
Waze users noted the notices rarely change destinations, only routes, reflecting how quickly abnormal conditions have become part of everyday decision-making.
Jeff Landry Orders Cajun Navy on Standby After Hearing British Troops Might Be Headed to Greenland
The governor’s office said no deployment orders exist yet, but volunteers were encouraged to prepare boats, cold-weather gear, and the confidence required to arrive before anyone asks for help.
Louisiana Once Again Named Worst State For Road Rage, Baton Rouge Residents Shocked Anyone Else Is Competing
A new report crowns Louisiana worst in road rage again, leaving residents confused why other states thought they were even in the race.