Locals Demanding Answers After Taxes Rise in Baton Rouge, Insist This Was Supposed to Be a St. George Problem
Baton Rouge homeowners were shocked to discover their tax bills had increased, insisting this kind of problem was contractually guaranteed to happen only in St. George.
New Orleans Residents Oppose ICE, Worried That Accountability Could Spread to Other Parts of Government
Protesters promised to return as long as law enforcement continues threatening the city’s long-standing tradition of low expectations.
Louisiana Legislature Considers Joining LHSAA Just to Get Something Passed This Year
Lawmakers at the State Capitol admitted they’re so tired of gridlock that the LHSAA might actually be better at running things. If the association can rule a star athlete ineligible overnight, legislators joked, maybe it’s time they merged the House of Representatives into Division I.
Baton Rouge Suspect Earns Platinum Status in State’s “Early Release Club”
Louisiana’s justice system is celebrating consistency, granting “Platinum Status” to a Baton Rouge man accused of raping a 4-year-old girl, just weeks after his latest release. With a rap sheet that reads like a phone book, officials say he’s a “valued repeat customer.”
Judge Gives Boosie Choice: Two Years in Prison or Move Back to Baton Rouge
A California judge shocked the courtroom by giving rapper Boosie a stark choice: serve two years in prison or move back to Baton Rouge. Observers noted Boosie appeared more rattled by the thought of Florida Boulevard traffic than federal lockup.
EBR School Superintendent Announces Realignment Plan: ‘Fewer Schools, Same Problems’
The East Baton Rouge School Board has officially voted to consolidate campuses in a move they claim will solve financial issues — while leaving academic and disciplinary problems delightfully untouched. Officials promise “fewer schools, same headaches” by the start of the next school year.
Amazon Employees Demand Hazard Pay After Discovering Warehouse Built on Former Cortana Mall Site
Workers at a Baton Rouge Amazon warehouse are demanding hazard pay after discovering the facility sits on the ruins of Cortana Mall, where the ghost of Space Port arcade allegedly still lingers.
Baton Rouge Man Opens Used Car Lot, Names It ‘Grand Theft Auto Sales & Service’
Customers raved about the unbeatable prices at “Grand Theft Auto Sales & Service,” only to later realize they had unknowingly entered into a crime scene rather than a dealership.
City Leaders Allegedly Turning Baton Rouge Into a Parody to Undermine The Sadvocate
We figured another satire site would eventually be our biggest competition,’ The Sadvocate admitted. ‘We never expected the Baton Rouge city government to be the one putting us out of business.’
Buc-ee’s Unveils $82M Travel Center Plan—State Officials Wonder If It’s Too Late to Ask for a Loan
Buc-ee’s is investing $82 million in Lafayette, leaving Louisiana officials wondering if they can borrow some cash to fix crumbling roads. At this point, the beaver might be the state’s best planner.
McKernan Splits Cost of Landry’s Jet, Gets Exclusive Rights to Aerial Advertising
Governor Jeff Landry’s new $5.5 million jet won’t just fly officials—it’ll advertise Gordon McKernan. The attorney agreed to cover half the cost in exchange for prime fuselage ad space. Critics call it absurd, but McKernan insists it’s public safety. “With all these plane crashes lately, I realized my billboards weren’t reaching people where they needed me most—the sky.” Meanwhile, rival E. Eric Guirard rejected a snack coordinator role, only to settle for changing batteries in airport marshalling wands.