Insurance Commissioner Suggests LA Homeowners Should ‘Stop Being Poor’ If They Want Affordable Coverage
Louisiana’s Insurance Commissioner has a solution for skyrocketing rates: Stop being poor. Officials suggest homeowners “get creative” by inheriting wealth, starting side hustles, or simply accepting financial ruin with grace.
NOAA Layoffs Change Nothing—Meteorologists Still Using ‘Partly Cloudy’ as a Safe Bet
Despite NOAA layoffs, weather forecasts remain unchanged, with meteorologists still relying on “partly cloudy” as the safest prediction. Experts assure the public that vague guesses will continue uninterrupted.
Baton Rouge Schools Announce They Will Reopen Tuesday Solely to Shut Down for Bad Weather
In a commitment to tradition, Baton Rouge schools will briefly reopen just to officially shut down for mild rain and wind. Officials insist the closure is necessary, reminding everyone that in Louisiana, it’s better to be overly cautious than slightly inconvenienced.
Baton Rouge Officials Declare Victory as Only Half of Parade-Goers Had Their Cars Broken Into This Year
Baton Rouge officials are celebrating progress after this year’s Mardi Gras parade saw “only” half of attendees’ cars broken into. Police credit the improvement to a new strategy: hoping for the best.
Dozens of CATS Bus Drivers Unable to Attend Their Own Strike Due to Lack of Buses
The CATS bus strike faced an unexpected challenge today—most of the striking drivers couldn’t make it to the picket line because they rely on the bus to get there.