EBR District Attorney Renames Office to ‘St. George Legal Challenge Fund’ To Improve Chances Of Getting Paid
After months of asking for more funding, the District Attorney reportedly discovered the easiest solution was simply renaming his office after something the City-Parish already loves spending money on.
EBR Officials Hire Ankle Monitor Monitor To Monitor Companies Monitoring Ankle Monitors
After multiple ankle monitor failures, officials say the obvious solution is hiring someone to monitor the people responsible for monitoring the ankle monitors.
Orleans DA Scrambles to Hire Hundreds of Attorneys to Assist Dismissing Charges Ahead of National Guard’s Arrival
Orleans Parish DA’s office is scrambling to hire hundreds of attorneys ahead of the National Guard’s arrival, not to prosecute cases, but to dismiss them. Officials admit the new hires will be measured on “throughput, not outcomes,” as the city braces for mass revolving-door justice.
Orleans DA Recruits Fired Jail Deputies, Citing “Unmatched Experience in Emptying Jails”
After two deputies were fired for mistakenly releasing an inmate, DA Jason Williams quickly recruited them for a new unit within his office. The “Accelerated Release Taskforce” is designed to fast-track freedom for suspects before formal charges even materialize an approach Williams calls “efficient, if nothing else.”
New Orleans DA Lands Emmy Nomination for Best Performance in Fictional Trial Series
Move over, ‘Law & Order’—New Orleans has rolled out its own courtroom drama, complete with imaginary proceedings, ghost witnesses, and a DA who now has more in common with actors than attorneys
New Orleans District Attorney Accidentally Hires One of the Escaped Inmates as Assistant DA
In a development somehow both shocking and on-brand, the New Orleans DA’s office admitted it mistakenly hired one of the escaped inmates as a new Assistant District Attorney
DA Launches ‘Text-a-Judge’ Program to Pre-Dismiss Cases Before Wasting Time on Investigations
The East Baton Rouge DA’s Office is piloting a new system that lets prosecutors text mugshots and case summaries directly to judges for instant dismissal decisions. Critics say it bypasses due process, but officials call it “a more efficient path to disappointment.”