BATON ROUGE, LA – Hoping to secure the reinforcements that have helped New Orleans fight crime, Baton Rouge officials renamed downtown to the French Quarter Friday and instructed nearby businesses to “act touristy.”
The initiative includes temporarily renaming Third Street Bourbon Street, distributing beads to municipal employees, and asking one guy with a saxophone to remain outside until state police arrive.
“We’ve seen what additional troopers and help from the attorney general’s office can accomplish,” said a spokesman for the Mayor’s Office. “We’re simply trying to make our application more geographically convincing.”
Workers positioned the sign so arriving troopers would see it before noticing the State Capitol, which officials plan to describe as “a very tall hotel.”
Residents have been encouraged to mispronounce street names confidently and tell anyone wearing a badge that Jackson Square is “right around the corner.”
Officials said the entire project cost $87, making it the city’s most affordable public safety initiative.
“If this works,” the official added, “we’re putting a Superdome sign on the River Center.”
