BATON ROUGE, LA – State officials sought to calm growing concerns this week over Louisiana’s participation in a federal nuclear initiative by reminding residents that the state has spent decades perfecting the art of making controversial industrial projects feel completely normal.
According to officials, any future nuclear waste would simply become another familiar feature in a state already known for its chemical plants, refineries, pipelines, and rapidly expanding carbon capture projects.
“We’re not saying it’s happening,” one spokesperson clarified. “We’re just saying that if it did, nobody driving down I-10 would suddenly think, ‘Well, that’s out of character for Louisiana.'”
Economic development leaders praised the proposal as another opportunity to demonstrate the state’s unique willingness to answer questions that begin with, “Would anyone be interested in storing…”
Residents admitted they initially assumed the announcement was satire before realizing it closely resembled several actual economic development initiatives already under discussion.
Officials concluded by assuring the public that if Louisiana ever reaches its limit on accepting nationally unpopular projects, they will immediately form a bipartisan committee to study whether there’s still room underground.
