BATON ROUGE, LA – Economists have concluded that no currency in modern history has been more dramatically overvalued than the average Baton Rouge child’s collection of ShowBiz Pizza tickets.
According to the study, children routinely approached the prize counter carrying what appeared to be a life-changing fortune, fully expecting to leave with a remote-control car, giant stuffed animal, or at the very least a respectable toy. Instead, researchers found their “wealth” typically translated into a plastic spider ring, a finger trap, and two pieces of candy.
“The average child believed they possessed roughly ten times the purchasing power they actually had,” one economist explained. “They’d spend three hours dominating Skee-Ball, proudly dragging around a pile of tickets the size of a sleeping bag, only to discover they still need about 9,800 more tickets to buy anything nicer than a plastic spider ring or one of those scented erasers.”
Researchers say the experience served as many Baton Rouge kids’ first lesson in inflation, asset valuation, and the emotional devastation of discovering your net worth had been wildly overstated by your own imagination.
Several former ShowBiz customers admitted they still instinctively calculate expensive purchases by wondering how many arcade tickets they would’ve taken.
