BATON ROUGE, LA – Local Costco officials announced Tuesday that new SEC-style tailgating regulations will now govern the store’s notoriously aggressive rotisserie chicken waiting situation after multiple shoppers have began setting up folding chairs and ice chests near the front of the store before sunrise.
Under the new policy, customers may begin “pregaming” for the daily chicken release no earlier than four hours before opening. Tents larger than 10×10 feet are prohibited, though propane grills, portable TVs, and crockpots will still be allowed in designated staging zones.
Store employees say the situation escalated during football season when shoppers began treating the waiting section like an LSU home game.
“We had one guy running a satellite dish while monitoring the front door with binoculars,” said assistant manager Todd Melancon. “Another family brought a cornhole set and stayed the entire weekend, consuming nearly 48 hotdogs from the deli between the 5 of them.”
Witnesses say tensions reached a breaking point after a Denham Springs man attempted to gain early access the chicken warming rack by sneaking in through the tire center carrying one of those donut spare tires from a Kia to appear official.
A Costco manager had to break up a fight between multiple Baton Rouge dads who were overheard loudly insisting that “this is the same spot we’ve had for years” before fists started flying.
