BATON ROUGE, LA – In a development shocking only to people who haven’t lived here long, a new lawsuit alleges that the East Baton Rouge Metro Council violated the Louisiana State Constitution while doling out public funds. The suit claims council members redirected money meant for crime prevention and community programs, instead spreading it around on district pet projects, sponsorships, and whatever else looked appealing at the moment.
In response, several council members reportedly asked for a copy of the state constitution so they could “take a look at what’s actually in there,” adding that it had been “a while” since anyone checked. One member was overheard asking whether the constitution came in a “shorter version without the boring parts.”
Legal experts say the claims could have significant implications, assuming the court can piece together exactly where the money went, why it went there, and who signed off before remembering what the rules were. Residents, meanwhile, expressed relief that someone finally read enough of the law to sue, since that alone already surpasses the council’s recent reading record.
As the case proceeds, the Metro Council has assured the public they will cooperate fully. Some members even said they intend to finish the entire constitution this time, unless it starts getting “too wordy” around Article VIII.
