BATON ROUGE, LA – In what may be the most unconventional use of executive power since the Roosevelt era, former President Donald Trump has officially pardoned rapper NBA YoungBoy—and immediately requested he record a diss track aimed at New York Attorney General Letitia James.
“Frankly, I think this young man has been persecuted almost as unfairly as I have—especially by that woman in New York who can’t stop suing me,” Trump declared during an impromptu press conference at Mar-a-Lago. “Look, these Attorneys General—total disasters—nobody’s ever seen anything like it. But YoungBoy? He’s tough. He’s smart. This kid raps better than they prosecute, believe me. He’s perfect.”
Sources familiar with the arrangement claim Trump included handwritten lyric suggestions with the pardon documents, including lines like, “You bring subpoenas, I fill arenas.”
The track, tentatively titled “Motion to Dismiss (Your Career),” is expected to drop before the fall of 2025. Insiders say the beat features subtle siren sounds and rhythms derived from recordings of a gavel slam.
YoungBoy reportedly left Mar-a-Lago with a presidential pardon in one hand and a gold-plated SD card in the other—sources say Trump handed it to him personally, along with a Post-it note that read: “Don’t forget to mention her eyebrows.”
