FAYETTEVILLE, Ar. – In a desperate bid to escape state income taxes, dozens of Subway employees at the University of Arkansas have officially launched a “Walk-On Football Tryout” program, hoping to qualify for tax-free NIL deals by the fall semester.
The movement began after Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders signed legislation exempting college athletes’ NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness) earnings from state taxes — even six-figure endorsement deals — while students flipping sandwiches for $10 an hour still fork over a portion to the Arkansas Department of Revenue.
“If you can catch a footlong, you can catch a football,” said Jared McCaffrey, a junior marketing major and part-time sandwich artist, while sprinting downfield clutching a tray of cold cuts. “I’m already used to getting hit by angry customers. How different can tackling drills be?”
Coached by the assistant manager who once played high school JV, the Subway Walk-On Program promises intense training in key NIL-relevant skills: posing for Instagram photos with Gatorade bottles, signing autographs on napkins, and, if necessary, fumbling graciously in front of brand partners.
University officials expressed concern but admitted it was “technically a form of entrepreneurship.”
“We want to encourage student ambition,” said one administrator. “Even if that ambition involves weaponizing athletic mediocrity to dodge taxes.”
As of press time, the Subway team was 0-3 in unofficial scrimmages but had already secured a tentative NIL offer from a local vape shop.
