BATON ROUGE, La. – Tired of white-knuckling it through broken promises and construction signs, Metro Baton Rouge-area commuters have found a way to turn their misery into money: introducing the Metro Baton Rouge Road Construction Fantasy League—a high-stakes game where locals draft LADOTD-managed projects and bet on the inevitable chaos.
“We figured if we’re all going to be stuck in traffic for the rest of our lives,” said league commissioner and Denham Springs native Kyle Robichaux, “we might as well start gambling on it.”
The league allows players to draft notorious infrastructure projects such as:
- College Drive Flyover at I-10 (Baton Rouge) – Once pitched as a “quick fix” for traffic, this overpass has evolved into a financial black hole, setting new personal bests in cost overruns with every fiscal year.
- Juban Road Widening and Roundabout (Denham Springs) – Once considered a breakout star, now just a construction wasteland that hosts a couple of construction workers moving dirt around to look busy every few weeks.
- Sullivan Road Widening (Central) – The Brett Favre of roadwork—retired five times, still going.
- New Mississippi River Bridge (??? Location TBD) – The seasoned veteran of delays, always questionable on the financial injury report.
Each project earns weekly points based on real-world stats, including:
- Number of cones deployed
- Fresh “Lane Closed Ahead” signs
- Budget increase announcements
- Project completion time pushed back
- Most optimistic but utterly meaningless LADOTD press release
- Public meltdowns caught on dash cams
- Bonus points for a politician in a hard hat seen onsite.
Winnings are paid out weekly.
LADOTD responded to questions about the league by issuing a strongly worded statement, then promptly revising the completion dates for every active project by another six months “out of an abundance of caution.”
🚧 Week 1 Standings – Metro Baton Rouge Road Construction Fantasy League 🚧
👷 Project: College Drive Flyover at I-10 (Baton Rouge)
Team Owner: Garret G. (Baton Rouge)
Total Fantasy Points: 92
- Cones: 176 → 176 × 3 = 528 ➝ Normalize: 17 pts
- Delays: 5 → 5 × 5 = 25 pts
- Budget Increase: $3.2M → 10 pts (Only 1 budget increase counted; not cumulative with amount)
- Timeline Extensions: 2 → 2 × 5 = 10 pts
- Bonus: 30 pts for cost record-breaking, worker vaping, and 2 public complaints
✅ Total: 17 + 25 + 10 + 10 + 30 = 92 pts
👷 Project: Juban Road Widening and Roundabout (Denham Springs)
Team Owner: Scott S. (Denham Springs)
Total Fantasy Points: 98
- Cones: 142 → 142 × 3 = 426 ➝ Normalize: 14 pts
- Delays: 4 → 20 pts
- Budget Increase: $1.1M → 10 pts
- Timeline Extensions: 1 → 5 pts
- Bonus: 30 pts for residents threatening to finish it, and GPS confusion
✅ Total: 14 + 20 + 10 + 5 + 30 = 79 pts
👷 Project: Sullivan Road Widening(Central)
Team Owner: Wade E. (Central)
Total Fantasy Points: 84
- Cones: 95 → 95 × 3 = 285 ➝ Normalize: 9 pts
- Delays: 3 → 15 pts
- Budget Increase: None → 0 pts
- Timeline Extensions: 3 → 15 pts
- Bonus: 30 pts for paving over signs, zero-visual-progress report
✅ Total: 9 + 15 + 0 + 15 + 30 = 69 pts
👷 Project: New Mississippi River Bridge (??? Location TBD)
Team Owner: John Bel E. (Hammond)
Total Fantasy Points: 121
- Locations considered: 7 sites → 7 × 2 = 14 pts (2 pts each)
- Studies: 7 total (4 done, 3 ongoing) → 7 × 7 = 49 pts
- Public Meetings w/ No Consensus: 6 → 6 × 4 = 24 pts
- Bonus: 35 pts for “Study of the Study” and consultant evaluating a consultant
✅ Total: 14 + 49 + 24 + 35 = 122 pts
“Study of the study” bonus triggered.
Stay tuned for next week’s Road Construction Fantasy League update—where the only thing more unpredictable than the score is the actual completion date. We’ll keep tracking the cones, studies, budget bumps, and bold new excuses as Baton Rouge’s biggest projects battle for fantasy glory.
