ABBEVILLE, LA – As Louisiana lawmakers begin debating new congressional maps, Cajun advocacy groups are pushing for a district that more accurately reflects their community, specifically one that stretches from Lafayette to wherever their relatives happen to be living at the moment.
The proposed district would reportedly connect Lafayette, Breaux Bridge, New Iberia, Abbeville, Houma, Thibodaux, Morgan City, three fishing camps, twenty-two crawfish ponds, and at least seventeen houses occupied by people named Boudreaux.
Supporters argue that traditional district boundaries unfairly divide Cajun families, forcing some relatives to attend crawfish boils represented by different members of Congress.
“Right now my cousin lives in another district, and that’s just not how family works,” said Lafayette resident Troy Guidry. “If we’re close enough to borrow his trailer without asking, we ought to have the same congressman.”
The preliminary map resembles a bowl of spilled spaghetti and includes several narrow corridors connecting favorite boudin shops, seafood markets, and a man known only as “the guy who can get things.”
Mapmakers estimate the district would contain approximately 98% of Louisiana’s accordion music, 94% of its cracklin consumption, and every uncle who claims to know somebody in state government.
Lawmakers are expected to review the proposal once they finish determining whether “your cousin’s camp” qualifies as a legally recognized geographic boundary.
