PRAIRIEVILLE, LA – Louisiana emergency preparedness officials confirmed Tuesday that Andouille Babin of Prairieville successfully spent his entire hurricane preparation budget on a single oversized ice chest “built like a NASA deep-space capsule,” leaving him with no remaining funds for food, batteries, plywood, or fuel.
Babin reportedly purchased the $1,900 offshore fishing-grade cooler after convincing himself it was “basically an investment” because it could keep beer cold for up to 19 days, roughly three times longer than most Entergy outage estimates.
“I looked at generators,” said Babin while proudly slapping the side of the cooler, “but this thing can hold twenty-four cases, two sacks of ice and a pack of deer sausage from Delaune’s.”
Neighbors say Babin now owns the most hurricane-resistant cooler in Ascension Parish despite having no evacuation plan and only half a tank of gas in his 93 Silverado.
Experts note the phenomenon has become increasingly common across South Louisiana, where residents routinely spend thousands preparing to drink and grill through natural disasters rather than survive them.
Babin says he still has a plan to evacuate if necessary, assuming someone can help him load the 300-pound cooler into his truck.