BATON ROUGE, LA – In a welcomed step toward technological excellence, AT&T announced a $45 million connectivity upgrade at Tiger Stadium designed to dramatically increase the amount of fans who can simultaneously post “How much is the buyout?!” to Facebook.
University officials confirmed the new infrastructure will also allow nearly the entire stadium to post zoomed-in, 6-second videos captioned, “Clearly not targeting,” before the referee has even finished the call.
“Previously, it could take up to three full minutes to upload a blurry replay from Section 405,” said one LSU fan. “By then, it was already too late to call for a challenge.”
Engineers say the upgraded connectivity will prioritize critical in-game needs such as posting about how much better 2019 was, “Fire Lane Kiffin” or “Bring Back Coach O.”
University officials insist the investment is about enhancing the fan experience.
“Connectivity is central to modern college football,” an LSU spokesperson said. “If fans cannot immediately argue with strangers nationwide about a penalty, or check the latest LSU memes with no lag, why are we even here?”
AT&T representatives noted that while the upgrade improves connectivity, it cannot technically force the band to “Play Neck,” though fans will now be able to demand it in high definition.
