GONZALES, LA – In a move critics are calling “middle school governance,” Gonzales Mayor Timothy Riley has announced that all city employees must now bring a signed permission slip before addressing council members. The new rule is part of the mayor’s ongoing effort to centralize communication, ensuring that no casual conversation between staff and council sneaks past his watchful eye.
According to City Hall insiders, the slips must include a parent or guardian’s signature, a brief explanation of the subject matter, and whether the employee will also require a bathroom break during the meeting. “We’re treating this like a field trip,” Riley explained. “If employees want to talk directly to the council, I need written confirmation that their parents are okay with it.”
Council members expressed confusion but admitted the new policy could save time. “It’s a little embarrassing, but at least we’ll finally know whose mom still packs them Lunchables,” one member said.
Failure to provide a signed note, the mayor warned, could result in detention, loss of recess privileges, or, worst case, an awkward phone call home. “Nobody wants that,” Riley added. “Especially not their parents.”
