SHREVEPORT, LA – Shreveport officials proudly announced their biggest win in decades this week: rapper and entrepreneur 50 Cent will slap his name on the city’s new permanent G-Dome. Economists, however, warn the investment may reduce his net worth to something less liquid than his moniker.
“Shreveport has a proven track record of taking thriving businesses and making them worth about the price of a gas station burrito,” one analyst explained. “This isn’t diversification. This is self-harm.”
The rapper, born Curtis Jackson, admitted the deal may force him to shed his iconic stage name. “I ain’t 50 Cent no more,” he said. “After this, just call me Store Credit. You can’t spend it anywhere, but it looks official on paper.”
Local leaders praised the partnership, noting it instantly doubles Shreveport’s economic relevance. “If he can survive here, we’ll rename downtown after him too,” one councilmember promised.
“At least now we know why it’s called the G-Dome,” another resident said. “The G stands for ‘Good’ in ‘good luck getting your money back.’”
