BATON ROUGE, LA – In a stunning revelation, career criminals and casual parade shooters alike were left speechless this week after learning that Louisiana state law has technically prohibited guns at parades this whole time.
“I feel betrayed,” said one local felon, adjusting his waistband that was evidently concealing at least 2 gats. “All these years I been breakin’ a law I didn’t even know existed? That’s so devastating.”
The shock came as the Louisiana Senate advanced a bill to reverse the current ban on carrying firearms at parades—a move critics say does little to address the actual problem: armed individuals who don’t care about the law in the first place.
“Had I known it was illegal, I might’ve… still done it,” admitted another guy currently out on parole. “But I would’ve felt worse about it… maybe.”
Lawmakers insist the change is about protecting the rights of responsible gun owners. Meanwhile, those actually responsible for the shootings remain unmoved—mostly because they’ve never read a law, followed a law, or cared that one existed. You know… criminals.
