BATON ROUGE, La. – Voters will head to the polls May 3rd to decide on a new tax proposal that would funnel $1.5 million into the East Baton Rouge District Attorney’s office—allowing them to more quickly charge violent criminals who 19th JDC judges will then release with minimal or no bond.

Supporters of the tax say the funding is “desperately needed” to help clear a massive backlog of cases that have piled up while judges focus on identifying the exact legal loopholes needed to get repeat offenders back on the streets before lunch.

“We’re not saying justice is broken,” said one local official, “but we are saying it’s been replaced with a suggestion box and a vending machine full of ankle monitors.”

The DA’s office plans to use the money for additional attorneys, updated case management software, and possibly a whiteboard to track which judge released the same suspect for the third time this month.

Officials stress that the new funding won’t fix everything, but it will at least ensure paperwork is filed promptly before the next suspect is released for “time served while waiting in the hallway.”