BATON ROUGE, La. — In a decisive move to protect the integrity of Louisiana’s most beloved brand, Governor Jeff Landry has issued an executive order barring longtime Democratic strategist James Carville from wearing LSU apparel during TV appearances until he “demonstrates basic rational behavior.”
“Every time Carville pops up on CNN in full LSU gear, foaming at the mouth about Trump and the apocalypse, people start associating our great university with unhinged rambling,” Landry declared. “It’s time we separate the Bayou Bengals from the Bourbon-fueled rants.”
The governor’s office confirmed that Carville will be required to submit a doctor’s note certifying he can go one full interview without screaming about fascism before the ban is lifted. State officials have recommended he swap LSU attire for Ole Miss gear, arguing that “no one would be surprised by erratic behavior from someone in a Rebels sweatshirt.”
Carville, defiant as ever, dismissed the order, declaring, “They’ll have to pry this LSU hoodie off my cold, dead body!” before being escorted off a Baton Rouge sports bar patio for yelling at a TV replay of the 2012 National Championship and blaming Republicans for the Tigers’ loss to Alabama.
