Jeff Landry Seizes Control of New Orleans Saints, Declares Himself Acting Head Coach Until Further Notice
Governor Jeff Landry declared an executive order seizing control of the New Orleans Saints after another crushing loss, naming himself Acting Head Coach “until further notice.”
NFL Fines New Orleans Saints For Impersonating Professional Football Team
The NFL has fined the New Orleans Saints for “impersonating a professional football team,” citing Sunday’s loss to Buffalo as the final straw. Officials say the money will be redirected to teach the offense basic football concepts, something fans claim has been missing for years.
Trump Suggests Governor Landry Deploy National Guard to Replace Saints Offensive Line
Trump proposed Governor Jeff Landry deploy the National Guard to the Superdome, claiming soldiers would provide “tremendous discipline” and “no false starts.” Landry didn’t rule it out, hinting that public safety now includes preventing Rattler from being sacked every other play.
New Orleans Saints Draft QB with More Degrees Than Touchdowns
In a bold academic pivot, the Saints drafted Tyler Shough—a quarterback who spent so long in college he was nearly awarded Professor Emeritus status. Team officials praised his leadership, maturity, and ability to survive cafeteria food, declaring him fully prepared for life in the NFC South.
Saints Fans Offer Steelers 2 Years Supply of Popeyes Chicken if They Take Derek Carr
Saints fans are feeling generous as they try to unload Derek Carr—and yes, they’ve sweetened the deal with a free 2 years supply of Popeye’s Chicken.
Saints QB Derek Carr Agrees to Pay Cut After Watching a Highlight Reel of Last Season
Derek Carr has officially taken a pay cut, proving once and for all that even quarterbacks can feel guilt after watching themselves complete six-yard passes on 3rd-and-12.
Saints Re-Sign Clyde Edwards-Helaire After Realizing They Ran Out of Other Ideas
The Saints have re-signed Clyde Edwards-Helaire after exhausting all other options. “We thought about signing a rookie, but nostalgia won out,” said the GM. Fans remain cautiously optimistic—again.