LSU Student Designs AI to Prevent Wrecks—It Just Keeps Recommending ‘Move Out of Baton Rouge’
While some hoped LSU’s AI would revolutionize traffic safety, it instead took one look at Florida Boulevard and immediately scheduled its own out-of-state transfer. LADOTD remains optimistic, calling the results “unexpectedly accurate.”
Barge Captain Dodges Stray Bullet, Heroically Fails to Dodge Baton Rouge
Two barges grounded near LSU after eyewitnesses say the captain swerved to dodge a stray bullet. Officials confirm the bullet missed — unlike Baton Rouge’s reputation for “challenging” river navigation.
After $955K Deficit, LSU’s Athletic Director Named Finalist for Louisiana State Government Finance Award
From spending SEC money like it’s Monopoly cash to being honored for it by the state, LSU’s athletic department just reminded everyone why Louisiana’s unofficial motto is “It’s not broken, it’s tradition.”
Jimmy Hoffa Located After Being Stuck in Baton Rouge Traffic for 50 Years
Officials confirm Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance wasn’t mob-related—he’s just been waiting for Baton Rouge traffic to clear since 1975. Found trapped between an SUV with a Tiger tail and a Nissan Altima blasting “Neck,” his story is a true Louisiana tragedy.
LSU Launches Degree in Political Corruption Studies to Prepare Future Leaders
LSU’s new Political Corruption Studies program embraces Louisiana’s rich legacy of backroom deals, offering courses like the Edwin Edwards Election Manipulation Masterclass and the William Jefferson ‘Cold Cash’ Seminar.
Governor Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order Banning James Carville from Wearing LSU Gear on TV
Governor Jeff Landry has issued an executive order banning James Carville from wearing LSU gear on TV until he “stops acting insane.” Officials say Carville must prove he can do one interview without a meltdown before the ban is lifted.