BATON ROUGE, LA – Louisiana seafood processors are scrambling to comply with new seafood labeling regulations after state officials clarified that shrimp seeking an official Louisiana label will have to undergo a new test starting in August.
The policy follows recent legislation aimed at cracking down on imported seafood being marketed as local Louisiana catch. Under the new verification process, shrimp will reportedly be required to correctly identify at least three LSU quarterbacks before receiving certification.
“We’re not asking for much,” explained one state inspector. “If you’re truly from Louisiana, naming three LSU quarterbacks should be easier than identifying your own species.”
According to preliminary guidelines, shrimp may also be asked to explain why preseason rankings are always too low, identify the location of Golden Meadow on a map, and be able to translate at least 3 out of 4 sentences from Coach O.
Several shipments claiming Louisiana origins reportedly raised immediate red flags during testing. Inspectors became suspicious when one shrimp identified a quarterback from Ole Miss, while another referred to a p-boy as “a seafood sandwich.”
The Sadvocate was unable to verify reports that one shipment of imported shrimp successfully passed inspection after spending six months listening exclusively to 104.5 ESPN sports radio in Baton Rouge.
