NEW ORLEANS, LA – With Carnival crowds surging through the French Quarter, police are reminding visitors to secure their belongings and, if possible, avoid presenting themselves as obviously “phone-having.”
Officials clarified that while pickpocketing is technically illegal, openly clutching a glowing $1,200 device above shoulder height in a dense crowd could be interpreted as an invitation to participate in what they described as “competitive object relocation.”
“We’re not blaming victims,” one spokesperson said carefully. “We’re just encouraging a lower-profile approach to phone-having.”
Tourists have reportedly been advised to refrain from filming every balcony bead toss, live-streaming every daiquiri purchase, or holding their devices aloft like a beacon announcing, “Yes, this one is fully charged.”
Local pickpockets, meanwhile, are said to be experiencing peak-season efficiency, crediting large crowds and distracted revelers for creating what they call “ideal phone-having conditions.”
Police insist additional patrols are in place, but emphasized that awareness remains key.
“Enjoy Mardi Gras,” the spokesperson added. “Just maybe try looking slightly less like someone who owns electronics.”
