NEW ORLEANS, LA – After decades of partisan gridlock, Louisiana has finally achieved unity, thanks to the New Orleans Saints performance so far this year.
Republicans and Democrats statewide reached rare consensus Sunday afternoon when the Saints’ lost their 6th game out of 7, prompting simultaneous bipartisan head-shaking across parishes.
Political analysts say this marks the first time since Hurricane Katrina that both sides have agreed on anything. “It’s truly a breakthrough,” said LSU political science professor Cal Dupree. “People who were screaming at each other about immigration, Trump and fuel prices ten minutes ago are now arm-in-arm, screaming at the offensive line instead.”
Governor Jeff Landry and New Orleans Mayor Latoya Cantrell even issued a joint statement calling the team’s performance “a historic act of statewide healing.” Plans are reportedly underway for a ceremony at the State Capitol where the Saints will receive the newly created “Louisiana Medal of Mutual Disappointment.”
Some lawmakers are calling on the Saints to continue “their important work in uniting the state through consistent mediocrity.” Others suggested expanding their efforts nationally, hoping that a few more losses could heal the growing divide in Congress. “If the Saints can get everyone in Louisiana to agree on something,” said one senator, “maybe they’re our best shot at world peace.”
