Ponchatoula to Rename Festival ‘The Running of the Strawberries’ in Honor of Annual Chaos
PONCHATOULA, La. – In a much needed rebranding effort, Ponchatoula officials have announced that next year’s beloved Strawberry Festival will be renamed The Running of the Strawberries — a nod to the growing tradition of festivalgoers sprinting for safety amid unexpected outbursts of chaos.
“What started as a wholesome celebration of fruit has evolved into more of a cardio-based survival event,” said one organizer, adjusting his new “Dodge, Dip, Dive, Duck, Daiquiri” T-shirt.
The revised event layout will feature obstacle courses, shelter zones, and tactical strawberry jam stations for “emergency snacking and concealment.” Local officials insist the new format embraces Louisiana’s unique culture of fun with mild fear.
Vendors will be required to secure tents with riot-grade zipties, and next year’s parade grand marshal will ride a moving armored vehicle rather than a float.
“It’s still the same festival you know and love,” said a city rep. “Just with a little more adrenaline and a lot more police tape.”
Ponchatoula to Rename Festival ‘The Running of the Strawberries’ in Honor of Annual Chaos
PONCHATOULA, La. – In a much needed rebranding effort, Ponchatoula officials have announced that next year’s beloved Strawberry Festival will be renamed The Running of the Strawberries — a nod to the growing tradition of festivalgoers sprinting for safety amid unexpected outbursts of chaos.
“What started as a wholesome celebration of fruit has evolved into more of a cardio-based survival event,” said one organizer, adjusting his new “Dodge, Dip, Dive, Duck, Daiquiri” T-shirt.
The revised event layout will feature obstacle courses, shelter zones, and tactical strawberry jam stations for “emergency snacking and concealment.” Local officials insist the new format embraces Louisiana’s unique culture of fun with mild fear.
Vendors will be required to secure tents with riot-grade zipties, and next year’s parade grand marshal will ride a moving armored vehicle rather than a float.
“It’s still the same festival you know and love,” said a city rep. “Just with a little more adrenaline and a lot more police tape.”
Related Fake News :
Former Louisiana House Speaker Pleads Not Guilty to Artifact Theft, Cites
Baton Rouge Leaders Finalize Arrangement with Tony Chachere’s for Resale
Walker High Students Form Group to Oppose Hair Dye Ban, Insist They Are
Louisiana Officials Confirm Calling to Report a Hands-Free Violation is
Metro Council Moves to Protect Florida Blvd’s “Natural Trash Distribution
Julia Letlow Enters Louisiana Senate Race After Clearing Party’s Only
BR Residents Invited to Delta Utilities Town Hall, Told Company Rep Will
State Rep. Paula Davis’ Farewell Party Gets “Accidentally”
Jeff Landry Orders Cajun Navy on Standby After Hearing British Troops
Guaranty Media Celebrates 100 Years by Sharing Its First-Ever News Story:
The Sadvocate Podcast
Other News
Latest Fake News
Baton Rouge Leaders Finalize Arrangement with Tony Chachere’s for Resale of Unused Road Salt After Storm Passes
LSU Officials Admit NBA YoungBoy Concert May Be First Event Where People Stay Through the End
Landry Expands Constitutional Carry to Include Harpoons Ahead of Greenland Transition
Plaquemine City Council Candidate Discovers Out-of-State Family Votes Are Cheaper Than Yard Signs
CATS Officials Assure Public That New Indictments Were Already Accounted For in Original Budget