BATON ROUGE, LA – Louisiana’s Office of Motor Vehicles announced a massive technology upgrade this week, unveiling a new computer system featuring innovations previously thought impossible inside an OMV office, including CD-ROM drives and new monitors with flat screen technology.
Officials say the modernization will move the agency firmly into the early 2000s, allowing employees to process licenses while simultaneously running Microsoft Word, provided nobody attempts to download more than 3 songs from Limewire while on break.
“This changes everything,” an OMV official said while demonstrating how a CD tray automatically slides out with the push of a button. “Before today, we thought you had to flip those things over like a cassette.”
The upgraded computers will also feature USB ports, optical mice and enough storage space to hold thousands of documents without deleting Minesweeper.
Employees are scheduled for extensive training on new features, including burning CDs, safely ejecting flash drives and distinguishing Google from “the Internet.”
Officials hope to have the system fully operational by next year, when OMV plans to begin researching something called Wi-Fi.
