CENTRAL, LA – After weeks of public disagreement over what it would actually cost to create a full-time police department, the City of Central announced Tuesday that the matter will be resolved through a professionally sanctioned cage match behind the new City Hall.
The dispute, recently highlighted in reporting by WBRZ, centers on competing budget projections. The police chief says his proposed models range between roughly $3.2 million and $4.7 million annually, with startup costs under $1.2 million. The mayor, meanwhile, has cited figures closer to $7 million per year and as much as $13 million in startup expenses.
Rather than commissioning another consultant or holding a fourth town hall where everyone pretends to understand spreadsheets, officials confirmed both sides agreed to settle the difference in a cage rented from a regional UFC promoter.
Dubbed “Fight for the Funds,” the bout includes three regulation rounds. Should it go the distance with no TKO, a panel of judges will rule on whether taxpayers are funding a modest $3 million department or bracing for $7 million ambitions.
In the event of a draw, the city council will step in and declare victory for whichever number sounds more responsible in a Facebook comment thread.
