SHREVEPORT, LA – With South Louisiana reeling from icy roads, power outages, and weather it was somewhat unprepared for, Governor Jeff Landry reportedly relocated himself to North Louisiana this week to “acclimate to frozen conditions” ahead of his new role as envoy to Greenland.
According to sources close to the governor, Landry selected North Louisiana because it offered snow, ice, and a familiar lack of infrastructure response, making it “the closest thing to Greenland taxpayers would understand.” The governor was seen jogging across frozen parking lots with Mike the Tiger in tow on a sled nodding and waving at everyone he passed.
Staffers say the trip included advanced training exercises such as slipping in snow covered driveways, criticizing weather forecasts, and blaming local officials for ice existing at all.
When asked why he didn’t travel directly to Greenland, Landry explained that North Louisiana allowed him to experience Arctic conditions without having to eat bland food, listen to unfamiliar accents, or the expectation of learning new information.
The governor later confirmed the training was successful, noting that after 48 hours in North Louisiana, he now feels fully prepared to advise Greenland on ice, cold, and how to ignore complaints from the southern half of the map.
