BATON ROUGE, LA – Local councilmembers this week invited residents to a Delta Utilities town hall meeting intended to address widespread concerns about billing, service issues, and general confusion, while acknowledging that the company’s representative will not be attending in person.
According to officials, the Delta Utilities representative notified organizers that he would be unavailable due to a previously scheduled yacht trip in the Caribbean, but generously offered to “call in by Zoom if the Wi-Fi holds.”
Meeting organizers said the offer was appreciated, noting that nothing reassures frustrated ratepayers quite like watching their utility provider answer questions from the teak deck of a floating mansion. “He assured us he takes Baton Rouge very seriously,” one councilmember said. “Just not seriously enough to reschedule his yacht trip.”
Residents attending the town hall will reportedly be encouraged to submit questions in advance, though sources say many are expected to be drowned out by wind noise, champagne corks, or someone off-camera asking if they’d prefer cracked crab over the lobster entree.
Delta Utilities officials emphasized that the absence should not be interpreted as indifference. “This is about accessibility,” a spokesperson said. “Technology allows us to be present anywhere in the world, including places with personal chefs.”
The meeting will proceed as planned, with residents invited to voice concerns while imagining the representative occasionally freezing on screen mid-sentence as the yacht exits another pristine harbor.
